Deixel's Blog

After being on the ADVANCED DIPLOMA IN IT for three months, I have come to the conclusion that 97% of an IT specialists job involves using Word to create various documents. Now, I have no personal experience as an IT professional, but I find it hard to believe that building a website for a living involves 20 documents.

Can anyone prove to me that to build a simple little website, 6 design documents must be created showing exactly what will go where? Or how about a document showing how you've checked each and every link, image, video and piece of text for 56 different times?

I may be wrong... but seriously, is my boss going to want to know how I tried 7 times to "cross-reference databases 6 and 14 while trying to get a readable output"? NO. All they're going to want to know is WHETHER OR NOT THE DAMNED THING WORKS NOW.

This simple diagram may explain better:

See? Boss doesn't care if I had to debug everything! It works. End of!

Sometimes, I wish my chemistry tests were this awesome:

Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law that gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that, if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell. Because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay constant, the volume of Hell must expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Sandra during my freshman year, that “it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,” and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is endothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is extinct…leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being - which explains why, last night, Sandra kept shouting “Oh God!”

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY “A”.